Yet another January has found us. The first term of my second year at BU has all but ended. What’s changed ? I now find myself in unfamiliar territory. I’m now in a position where I’ve realised my cynicism towards people and life is a finely balanced one with my love for life’s mysteries. Depression, my old friend, never far away has visited me once again, it always will. Like a spectre that follows you to the grave, it’ll sometimes be less prevalent. Strange dreams dominate the little sleep I get anymore, January is a brutal reminder to me of the pain and failures I’ve been through. Towards the end of November 2018 I was with a someone who seemed to be really into me, much to my continued bewilderment. I’ve never believed anyone within their right mind ever would want to be with me. These thoughts are not born into me. These thoughts are developed from years of belittlement from various people in my life. The reference to my Asperger’s and that I am not normal. This means th
Saturday 1st June I woke up early. 7.32am....well early for me. I packed my last things up and made my way via a lift from my mother to Bournemouth station. It was time to head to London for the first time since September last year for the same reason as September last year....to see The National. After a year of university that has flattered to deceive it felt necessary to enjoy something at the end of it. Ironically on the same day as the SUBU summer ball where many of my course mates had gone with Their friends to send off the first year of university. It in a different manor I had chosen to do the same by heading to Victoria Park, Hackney, to do the same. I arrived at London Waterloo at around 10.50 and headed for Canary Wharf, there I met my contact for the next 22 hours C. Downs. We travelled via DLR and tube to Hoxton for lunch. Mestmission was the place and we both ordered “Towerblock” Burgers. They were nice. Soon we found ourselves in a Wetherspoons (As if by pure destiny) t