My journey to Bournemouth University is probably not the
most usual of voyages. Following 2 years at Southampton Solent University
studying popular music journalism, I wound up at my home university. At the
ripe old age of 26.
Following some of the most turbulent times of my life in
recent years, a decision was reached by myself that if I was too continue studying it
should be from home. Following 2 years at Solent I believed I had the
experience I needed to study in a more stable environment.
As someone with Asperger’s and anxiety it is and was never
going to be easy fitting in and perhaps developing friendships with peers. This
coupled with the age difference filled me with much apprehension regarding
starting a new course and a new journey.
I was a fresher again, surrounded by new faces, new ideas,
new possibilities and another chance to be the man and the student I wanted to
be. I was shy and when not shy putting on an Oscar worthy performance of acting
confident. The academia and level of work was nothing new to me so it really
didn’t register as something I’d be anxious about. I was also in a widely
different position to my fellow students on my new course being that I had been
to university before and that I am 7/ 8 years older. I don’t drink and don’t
particularly care about clubbing.
I walk around campus to and from lectures and I notice what
I do notice is the sheer level of diversity. I find it beautiful, compelling.
Every student holsters a story, experiences, emotions. It is a fascinating
study into what it means to be a young person, which I JUST about believe I am.
As a deep thinker I also find the lectures interesting and the arguments from
different scholars. University is, at least in my experience, a place to meet
new people. Meet new ideologies, explore the vast depths of what it means to be
human. In 2 years at Solent I learnt so much but perhaps due to my
circumstances at that time I couldn’t perhaps grasp what it really meant to be
a student.
With my first semester complete, I’ve gotten used to what it
means to be at Bournemouth University. I for the most part have enjoyed my
first semester. My only regrets really are that I allow my anxiety to dictate
so much of how I manage relationships. I almost feel deep down that everyone
else to some degree is in the same boat. That I’m not the only one who feels
different and yet similar, so intelligent and yet dumb. I look forward to what
the future holds, I hope that as University goes on I can be more open, able to
find common ground, able to form meaningful friendships.
With my second semester set to begin, A new calendar year and
more challenges, I am optimistic for the future. I will not let anxiety beat me.
Comments
Post a Comment